Post by Jasyn on Aug 14, 2008 18:26:45 GMT -5
I'm working on a world named Sizanna, It's paralell to ours, but has a few changes. It's mostly dark ages type of stuff, so be forewarned. It is not redwallish, and few words you'll know. If you have any questions, ask me.
Outsider: Prologue
Okeyza Illmarst, a markitin, stood chained to a large boulder. He stood calmly, even though his normally fit body bore signs of misuse. His long, white hair was matted and hung limply off his head. Bruises and cuts lay partially healed all over, and his skin hung off his bones, the result of little food. But his gaze was solid, his dark grey eyes challenging all who met them to question his resolve.
A young jimallen woman hung on his neck, sobbing into the rough smock that served as his garment. Her long dark hair lay similarly to Okeyza’s, even though she was not the one who lay in a prison for a pendulant. Her clothes were dirty and wrinkled.
An assembly of pale markitins encircled the couple. They shuffled uncomfortably as they waited for the trullin to speak. They gazed at the boulder, or lowered it to the yawning pit behind it. Never did they look at Okeyza and his betrothed, Senda Yendey. They knew exactly what was coming, and they were of two minds about the horrifying ordeal. Okeyza was arrested a pendulant ago on the orders of the ominia leader Kerast. He was charged with murdering a wandering songweaver, and the sentence was death by pit, a truly horrible sight to see. Yet they couldn’t help but half disbelieve the charges. They trusted Okeyza. They had to, because he was the tanda’s Helden, or elected leader. If they didn’t trust the Helden, then who could they trust?
The trullin stood foremost, immaculate blue robes hanging off his lanky frame. His haughty face showed the youth of the man, still too young to be burdened with the decision concerning the life and death of one man. He cleared his throat, and all gazes shifted to him. Even the jimallen woman quit her lamentation long enough to glare at him with dark grey eyes. Both hers and Okeyza’s similarly were similarly colored and held similar emotion.
“My fellow markitins, and cousin jimallen, we are here to witness the execution of one Okeyza Illmarst. Helden of the tanda Bilmad, and betrothed to the jimallen, Senda. He has been convicted of murdering a songweaver, and his execution…he is to be thrown into the pit, and smashed upon the boulder that restrains him. There have been few people who protest, few who say they doubt the conviction. I ask one last time, are there any among you who doubt the sentence and want to see this man freed?” He waited for a moment. There was fidgeting among the markitins, but finally Senda spoke.
“You should be ashamed of this. This man, my love, has told you the truth throughout his life. He has given you no reason to mistrust him, yet here you stand, doubtful of his truthfulness. Why you see fit to-“ she was cut off by the man she hung onto.
“Halt your talk, dear heart. They will never change their minds about me, so you are simply wasting your breath.” The couple’s gazes met for a single trin before his solid gaze returned to the trullin. “Milaya, you know me well. I was the one who suggested that you, young as you are, be up for the tenda’s trullin. I found that you could hold the responsibility of finding the truth within webs of lies. Can you not see it now? No? Then I have one final thing to say to you. Can you live with it? Can you live with sentencing an innocent, undeserving man to his death? Can you promise yourself that the horrible memory of this day will not turn and haunt you, that the memory will not become your most dreaded nightmare?” Okeyza turned to the two heavyset markitins that stood near his boulder.
“Go ahead, push the boulder. I have no regrets.”
The two looked at the trullin for confirmation. When he nodded, they took the long poles in their strong hands and set them under the boulder. They leaned on the staves, and the boulder groaned as it left the indention where it had rested and began its journey to the depths of the chasm behind it. Okeyza did not wait for the chain to pull him down. He ran, his arms held stiffly before him, and dove into the hole right behind the rock.
The people of Bilmad stood in shock, while Senda fell on her knees. She hugged herself and gazed at the spot where her betrothed had stood only hiens ago. Not caring that the sand burrowed its way into her skirts and shoes. Not caring that everyone was walking away. Not caring at all, wishing that she could follow Okeyza, but knowing that she could not.
Senda finally stood, and she walked over to the pit. She gazed into the dark depths of the hole, and watched her tears fall. She closed her eyes to halt the torrent of tears that would soon begin, and she opened her mouth to speak.
“I shall discover who did this, my love. I shall destroy those who find it satisfying to send you to death, and then I shall join you. We will be together in eternity soon, my love. Just wait a little longer.”
I'd also like to know how you would write Chapter 1. Just so I can get some Ideas.
;DThanks
Outsider: Prologue
Okeyza Illmarst, a markitin, stood chained to a large boulder. He stood calmly, even though his normally fit body bore signs of misuse. His long, white hair was matted and hung limply off his head. Bruises and cuts lay partially healed all over, and his skin hung off his bones, the result of little food. But his gaze was solid, his dark grey eyes challenging all who met them to question his resolve.
A young jimallen woman hung on his neck, sobbing into the rough smock that served as his garment. Her long dark hair lay similarly to Okeyza’s, even though she was not the one who lay in a prison for a pendulant. Her clothes were dirty and wrinkled.
An assembly of pale markitins encircled the couple. They shuffled uncomfortably as they waited for the trullin to speak. They gazed at the boulder, or lowered it to the yawning pit behind it. Never did they look at Okeyza and his betrothed, Senda Yendey. They knew exactly what was coming, and they were of two minds about the horrifying ordeal. Okeyza was arrested a pendulant ago on the orders of the ominia leader Kerast. He was charged with murdering a wandering songweaver, and the sentence was death by pit, a truly horrible sight to see. Yet they couldn’t help but half disbelieve the charges. They trusted Okeyza. They had to, because he was the tanda’s Helden, or elected leader. If they didn’t trust the Helden, then who could they trust?
The trullin stood foremost, immaculate blue robes hanging off his lanky frame. His haughty face showed the youth of the man, still too young to be burdened with the decision concerning the life and death of one man. He cleared his throat, and all gazes shifted to him. Even the jimallen woman quit her lamentation long enough to glare at him with dark grey eyes. Both hers and Okeyza’s similarly were similarly colored and held similar emotion.
“My fellow markitins, and cousin jimallen, we are here to witness the execution of one Okeyza Illmarst. Helden of the tanda Bilmad, and betrothed to the jimallen, Senda. He has been convicted of murdering a songweaver, and his execution…he is to be thrown into the pit, and smashed upon the boulder that restrains him. There have been few people who protest, few who say they doubt the conviction. I ask one last time, are there any among you who doubt the sentence and want to see this man freed?” He waited for a moment. There was fidgeting among the markitins, but finally Senda spoke.
“You should be ashamed of this. This man, my love, has told you the truth throughout his life. He has given you no reason to mistrust him, yet here you stand, doubtful of his truthfulness. Why you see fit to-“ she was cut off by the man she hung onto.
“Halt your talk, dear heart. They will never change their minds about me, so you are simply wasting your breath.” The couple’s gazes met for a single trin before his solid gaze returned to the trullin. “Milaya, you know me well. I was the one who suggested that you, young as you are, be up for the tenda’s trullin. I found that you could hold the responsibility of finding the truth within webs of lies. Can you not see it now? No? Then I have one final thing to say to you. Can you live with it? Can you live with sentencing an innocent, undeserving man to his death? Can you promise yourself that the horrible memory of this day will not turn and haunt you, that the memory will not become your most dreaded nightmare?” Okeyza turned to the two heavyset markitins that stood near his boulder.
“Go ahead, push the boulder. I have no regrets.”
The two looked at the trullin for confirmation. When he nodded, they took the long poles in their strong hands and set them under the boulder. They leaned on the staves, and the boulder groaned as it left the indention where it had rested and began its journey to the depths of the chasm behind it. Okeyza did not wait for the chain to pull him down. He ran, his arms held stiffly before him, and dove into the hole right behind the rock.
The people of Bilmad stood in shock, while Senda fell on her knees. She hugged herself and gazed at the spot where her betrothed had stood only hiens ago. Not caring that the sand burrowed its way into her skirts and shoes. Not caring that everyone was walking away. Not caring at all, wishing that she could follow Okeyza, but knowing that she could not.
Senda finally stood, and she walked over to the pit. She gazed into the dark depths of the hole, and watched her tears fall. She closed her eyes to halt the torrent of tears that would soon begin, and she opened her mouth to speak.
“I shall discover who did this, my love. I shall destroy those who find it satisfying to send you to death, and then I shall join you. We will be together in eternity soon, my love. Just wait a little longer.”
I'd also like to know how you would write Chapter 1. Just so I can get some Ideas.
;DThanks