'Beware of Zwarg' (open to anyone)

[blackfox7]

(WARNING: Do not join if ye can't cope with the following: Belches, Bad Table Manners, Farts, Suggestive Language, or Attempts to Eat Small, Furry, Cute Things...)


The dusty ground of the North-South path trembled under heavy footfalls. Something big was coming straight for the Abbey from the north, and they weren't stopping. An enourmously fat, gigantic stoat clad in soot-smudged grey pants and a sleeveless shirt of the same color lumbered over the crest of the last hill overlooking the peaceful Abbey. He had a sack slung over his shoulder like some bad impression of Santa Claus and carried a huge forge hammer in his other paw. Tunndred Zwarg was coming!

The big stoat had heard tales of an Abbey full of mice, moles, and other small creatures, but he'd never actually seen it before. It had always been his desire to stay at his home in the northwest, but now it seemed that curiousity had gotten the better of him. Besides, he might meet sombeast wanting to buy some of the swords he had brought along.

So, struggling slightly with his great weight, Tunn waddled up close to the solid oak main gate and sat down for a rest. Nobeast should ever have to endure a long walk like that!

[Silas]

A soft breeze rustled the leaves of the trees, making a shuffling sound. The noon sun hung high over head, giving warmth to the forest. But amidst the path and the trees, there was no warning to herald the weasel seeming to just appear somewhere near Tunn, about three paces away.

He raised an eyebrow at the stoat, not sure of his intentions. "Hey." He said plainly in greeting, not bothering to raise a paw.

[blackfox7]

Tunn twisted around to look at the weasel. He didn't remember seeing someone there before... Now what was this fellow up to?

"Hoi there; you waiting for the gate to open too?" Tunn said in a friendly tone. Then he thought of a brilliant idea: "You don't happen to have any need of weapons or tools, do you?" He grinned, displaying sharp white fangs. The stoat smith was hoping to make some business, and why not; there was nothing better to do.

[Silas]

The weasel's face remained the same placid expression. He took his paws out of his pants pockets, leaving them to hang by his sides. Seeming to get the idea that the beast was a weapons trader, he said, "It depends. What've ye got?"

[blackfox7]

Tunn smirked as he swung the heavy pack off his back and set it on the ground with a poof of dust. He tapped it with a heavy paw, and it instantly tipped over. A variety of swords, knives and other small metal objects tumbled out: Shortswords, broadswords, rapiers, sabres, daggers, swordbreakers, sickles, and even a few spearheads. The stoat peered up at the weasel expectantly, keeping one hand on his forge hammer just in case he snatched one and ran off. He couldn't count how many arms he'd broken from snotty little bandit types attempting this...

[Calvin "Freckle" McMurray]

A rabbit peered from a tree. "If I'm not mistaken, wot, those are vermin." Dragon readied his bow, hoping to get a shot before having to enter melee combat with his greatsword. Dragon aimed for the weasel. "those Weasels, im not the fondest of 'em. They're a tad tougher in melee combat. Even though that dealer over there looks real tough." He moved his aim to the stoat. "Im happy that even if they see me, im too far for conventional weaponry to hit." He let loose a shot at the largest weapon, knowing that unless the target is prewarned, he doesn't miss.

[blackfox7]

One minute Tunn was sitting up, grinning and thinking of things he'd be able to do with the money he'd get from a sale around here, then he felt a shock reverberate through the handle of his hammer, making him drop it. On the ground was a single shaft, the tip dulled by its hitting of the hammer. Tunn noted which direction it had come from and looked that way, into the foliage. As he squinted a shape stood out from the greenery; a shape with long ears... a hare? Tunn put on a look of mock indignation and crossed his arms like a pouty Dibbun.

"Hunh! That wasn't very nice, shooting at us like that! Stand forward, y' scoundrel, and let me get a look at you."

[Calvin "Freckle" McMurray]

Dragon cocked his head. This one's different. Not like others I've faced. he thought. Dragon emerged from the foliage and readied his bow for another shot. "Good look enough? Oh, that hammer o' yours might need to have a dent popped! So, what brings you two near Redwall and barter weapons?" Dragon noted that the stoat was a tad large. "Your size reminds me of my Uncle Opa. He could eat one of those large fish you'd see trying to eat you while sailing a small boat."

[Silas]

All the while as they were talking, the weasel was moving towards the hare, paws at his sides, still weaponless. "So you're the type who shoots first and asks questions when we're dead?" He shakes his head. "I thought hares were sensible." He adds, already closing in on Dragon, walking casually towards him. "I'd say it's fair that we, the attacked and assaulted, have the right to question you first."

[Calvin "Freckle" McMurray]

Dragon moved his sights to the ferret. "Oh? Well that's new." Dragon lowered his bow, but still kept it notched. "Dragonblade Wilser, Long Patrol, Ranger Corps, 1st class. I'm guarding Redwall. And no, I perfer questions first, but with you dealing weapons, there is normally one answer to the action. Oh, and if you wish for an injured paw, keep coming closer, laddie. I can hit you right where it'll hurt like no other, especially since you are close enough for a precision shot."

[Silas]

"I suppose that's a threat." He growled. "What gives you the authority to shoot arrows at beasts, eh? We didn't attack or anything. Hell, we were just standing there. So unless you want that arrow rammed up your tail-end, I suggest you be on your way." He said this, movin around the hare in a half-circle, intending to get out of all this, or...

[Calvin "Freckle" McMurray]

"Right. oh, the authority is mine. I just got finish dealing with a group o' rats and they were planning to slowly sabotage Redwall. So I have full suspicion." Kippo threw the ferret an arrow. "'ere you go! have at ye!" Kippo put his bow away and stood there, waiting for his aggressor to make his move, watching the stoat even while talking to the ferret.

[Silas]

((Weasel. He's a weasel.))

The weasel broke the arrow in half, snarling some as he did so. "That still gives you no right to have power over anyone you damn well please." He growled, not wanting to get in a fight here, but at the same time wanting to carry out his threat all the same. He was getting more and more frustrated and irritable as of late... He held back for the moment, glaring at the hare and baring his teeth.

[blackfox7]

Tunn was a little worried now; the back and forth between the hare and the weasel was starting to get a little tense. He examined his hammer. Yeah, it was a bit dented... but he could fix it. The huge stoat looked back at the two other creatures momentarily. This was going nowhere!

"Erm... I think maybe you two might not want to...shall I say, kill each other right here?? This is an abbey! Show some sacredidity!", Tunn interuppted. Then he pointed at the hare,"and why should you be suspicious of me, eh? I just sell the weapons; I have no control over what otherbeasts do with 'em."

[Calvin "Freckle" McMurray]

Dragon looked at the stoat. "You have a point with the weapon thing, but hey, you never know." He turned to the weasel. "You, my good lad, owe me a longbow arrow! Those things are hard to come by!" Dragon realized that the stoat probably had good intentions, but the weasel...hm...